I have this urging feeling of changing things around, shaking things up, as they say. It always starts with my blogging settings. No, I am not opening another Ghost account, but will most likely play around with a theme, change menus, and other things. Perhaps other systems and tools I use may change. definitely, there are personal things that need revisiting... I am a messy work in progress.

Also, and super-unrelated.

Do you read every item in your RSS feed? Or, just like me, do you triage and keep what you might truly read later, or just read it and move on?

I found myself scanning and just skipping until I find something I know I would like to read. Then I read it right there and then rather than "saving it for later".

I don't know, just a thought.

Although I have had many thoughts recently and I am having a hard time sorting them out. Something is not entirely right up in here (points to the head). At least I know is not a lack of serotonin, according to my crazy-doc...

😝😝

Evening, Koopalings!

As per usual, it is time for bed and I can’t sleep. My mind is somewhat racing and not letting me relax and sleep as I should. Tonight, rather than just thinking about the same things over and over, and why I cannot sleep, I have decided to just type things down.

Apropos of nothing, I am using my MacBook Pro rather than my phone or iPad, which is interesting, 0h and Drafts, rather than Ulysses.

What’s running through my head? Well, the usual, things I get to do tomorrow (Opens Things). I have also, been thinking about meditation. Do guided meditation work? I feel like I don’t have the attention span to listen to someone telling me to imagine things and do breathing exercises, etc. I just want something like The Winter Soldier, a few coded words; Lettuce, Brussel Sprout, Corn, and Boom Shaka Laka, I’m asleep. Is that a thing?

Also, I am almost positive that there was more stuff, but now that I’m in front of my computer, they’re gone!

Alright, enough of typing, I should try and get some rest. Hopefully, this exercise works, taking the load off my head.

Welcome to another "episode" of what Gabz has been playing...!!

Well, I am still knees deep into Xenoblade  Chronicles 3, about 34 ish hours in, and I can't get enough of it. Although I just reached one particular "mission" where it's like;

• I need that boat
• Yes, you may have it but we need batteries, go talk to Person #1.
• I go talk to Person #1: Yes, I would help you but I need you to talk to Person #3 for X"
• Now I got to Person #3...

You know where this is going, right? 

Still having lots of fun and am super-intrigued by the story.

Anyway, the game I want to talk about is Rollerdrome on the PlayStation 5

Rollerdrome is a single-player third-person action-shooter that seamlessly blends high-octane combat with fluid motion to create an action experience like no other. Dominate with style in cinematic, visceral combat where kills net you health and pulling off tricks and grinds provide you with ammunition.

I have to say, I've only played about an hour or 30 minutes of it. As part of the PlayStation Plus Premium membership, you do get a 1-hour full game trial. When I first saw this game it made me think of movies like The Running Man (1987) for some reason, you know futuristic, dystopian badass sports. And of course, the art style grabbed my attention right away.

The game is a blast, no doubt! It's simple, you skate through an arena in the Rollerdrome tournament, battling others with guns, dodging attacks, and the way you replenish your ammo is with tricks and such. The best part is skating at full speed without fear of crashing. From what I played, the game isn't that difficult, again, I've only played basically the tutorial and maybe two battles. I did find myself near death a couple of times, but you replenish your health by killing enemies. I am definitely intrigued by this game, seems like it can be a lot of fun without a super-complicated setting.

That's it, until next time! ✌🏼

Back in June, I had my RGT Test, which, unfortunately, I did not pass. Both my ego and pride (if they aren't the same thing) took a hit, not going to lie. 

And why do we fall, Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.

  – Alfred Pennyworth  

On December, December 5th to be exact, in Chicago, I will have another chance to take the test. This means my anxiety ("Hello darkness my old friend...") is back again. Perhaps a wee bit less than before since now know what I am getting myself into. Still, the fear of failing – again – and falling is creeping into the back of my head.

Better get cracking!

I’m in a “strange” mood today…

Allow me to explain.

Normally, especially on Sundays, my motivation to do anything is next to nothing. Whatever needs to get done around the house or yard, I’d do the bare minimum. Everything is a drag.

Today, so far, it’s a little different. I felt, feel, motivated. I prepared breakfast for Luna and I, coffee, and headed outside for some yard work. Today I went above and beyond of what would normally be. I put on more effort into it and tackled things that had been bothering me around the front yard. I took the time to fertilize the trees and grass, which does need some work. These high temperatures have been rough on the yard.

Normally, I dread laundry, folding clothes, and putting them away. Today, I didn’t mind it at all, I just, did it.

I’m excited about dinner tonight, I am preparing a flank steak. I was actually creative and intentional about seasoning and letting it marinate for the next few hours, rather than just preparing it last minute and throwing it in the air fryer or something.

I’m not sure if it’s just a spur of the moment or something else, perhaps my new meds are starting to kick in?

So, what I call strange, is probably the normal self that I haven’t felt or seen in a while…

Today marks a week since I got my new CASIO G-SHOCK. I am not gonna lie, it has been a little bit of an adjustment.

As for the piece itself, I love it. I love its design, love the color, love the watch face, always been a fan of digital and big numbers. It is super comfortable and, again, it looks nice. This one is one of those G-SHOCK MOVE models, it pairs with your device using a dedicated app. It can push notifications, messages, texts, calls, etc. It does track calories burned, steps and runs. I think I can track workouts but I am yet to figure out if it can at all the same way the Apple Watch does.

What about Apple Watch Withdraws?

I have to be honest here, there have been a few times, in which I have found myself really missing the Apple Watch.

Daily use

As far as an EDC, I don’t find myself missing the Apple Watch as much, again, fashion-wise, the G-SHOCK kills it. I don’t mind not getting notifications or any of that. Is nice not having that distraction.

Where I do find myself missing it though is for example when out grilling, I use timers a lot and I always use my watch for that. Yes, I have my phone and can summon the all-mighty Siri for that but, it’s so much easier to quickly reach for your wrist.

Workouts

If there’s anything that the Apple Watch excels at, is tracking movement and workouts. Having that data easily accessible, timers, and data, is super-nice and convenient. The G-SCHOCK does have a stopwatch and timers, but they are not easy to access as they are on the Apple Watch. And of course, there are the rings, The Rings of Shame as I call them.

Conclusion

I am very satisfied with my purchase and I think there is a way in which both watches can coexist within my lifestyle. Just like shirts, they can be changed, depending on the day, mood, necessity, or occasion. For sure will be using the Apple Watch for workouts over the G-SHOCK, but daily use, either or, but mostly the G, for now, until I am tired of it, if ever (or if I get a new one?).

What goes through my mind at 11:00 PM at night?

I talk a lot in my head (I think I am talking), and I sort of guess what the next day will be like. I create conversations, and what I might be saying at tomorrow’s meeting (which got postponed until tomorrow, so I am sure we'll get back to it tonight). I imagine and plan the rest of my day, or rather, I think I am just mentally preparing for it.

I think about every issue, and problem, I have. I tell myself an idiot for worrying too much and that I suck. Impostor syndrome creeps in and doubts every decision made. What my workout will be for tomorrow? Gotta lose weight, I am still fat. I try to remind myself that there’s nothing I can do right this second about any of it and that I should focus on sleeping and getting some rest.

But no, I can’t.

I grab my phone, I doom scroll Instagram, Twitter is dead, nothing to see there this late at night, but I open Tweetbot and scroll anyways. I open any app that might show me something I hadn’t previously seen or read, or something I may miss. There’s nothing in my RSS. A podcast? Nah! Not interested. A book? Too tired to pay attention and remember any of it the next day. What about read it later? Nah!

Ugh!  

Shall I change my Micro.blog theme? Hm...

Nah, not on the macintosh phone...

Plays music...

Midnight comes around...

On the bright side, I got 4 hours of sleep rather than 3 like the night before. I call that progress.

I have completed my first workout using the new G-Shock Watch, honestly I am uncertain whether the Watch was tracking my workout. It was running some kind of times, but… I don’t know, I got to figure it out. It’s definitely been tracking over all activity, steps kcal’s and some.

Unless there’s a setup or function I haven’t figured out yet, I might use the Apple Watch for workouts only. I like having a record and easy access to my timers.

Then again, these are the little things the Apple Watch spoiled me on.

Not a thing I like to see anymore.

Today is my first day without a smarty-pants watch. I kinda feel, in some way, like I have left my phone at home. I am not getting the buzz on my wrist. I noticed that I rarely pay attention to my phone while at my desk, and whenever I interacted with it, it was because of the buzzing on my wrist. I believe I can set the watch so I get some notifications but I haven’t done that yet, or maybe I never will.

I also must confess, that I do have my Apple Watch with me, just not on me. It is currently in my backpack. I am trying to decide if I want to wear it at the gym today, just to record my workout.

Like I have said before, I have been using an Apple Watch since the very first model, so I am in that mentality that if I don’t record my workout on the watch, I did not work out at all, didn’t happen, doesn’t exists. I am used to having that quantitative data.

I should be able to set this up though, according to the website;

This G-SHOCK MOVE watch delivers all you need for the ultimate workout. Access your smartphone GPS for precision accelerometer measurement when tracking running distance, speed, pace, and calories burned.

I may spend some time today setting it all up and report back, again, these are my 1st-day impressions so far.

Stay tuned…

UPDATE!

Set up the watch with the iPhone app!

Got Twitter and Hey notifications! 🤣

♥ Nostalgia, Graveyards & an NYC Apartment

I think, well, the whole video, for whatever reason just got to me, great story-telling. But the thing that really stood out to me was when he reads a note, that he scribbled; (I will be doing my best to quote here):

Missing New York means, missing my friends, and missing my friends means missing the times we spent together, and missing those times, is nostalgia and it’s hitting me hard…

Definitely not New York for me, but let us replace NY with Puerto Rico (in my case), let us replace NY with any part of the world or place or activity in which we had great very memorable moments with friends, loved ones, or even by ourselves.

I often feel nostalgic, I miss friends and family of course, but mostly for those moments in which I was the best and normal version of myself. When the only worry was, in which direction to turn next at the next crossroad.

I relive those moments, in my head, often, and I smile every time. And maybe, hopefully, one day I’ll get to share and relive some of those moments with my girls.

Cheers!

I have always had my suspicions, but today was confirmed. Apparently, according to my psychiatrist, I have ADHD.

That confirmed some of my suspicions. Moreover, whatever medication I have been taking for the past few years for my depression, aren’t really doing anything to truly help. If I understood correctly, they just blunt my emotions, good or bad, preventing me from feeling my normal self.

Let us see how this goes, one thing at a time.

I have always been a fan of taking an original thing and making it your own, creating your own take, perhaps as an homage or as fan service but keeping the essence and respecting the original work.

For example, I like song covers, very much, or at least I know I will listen to it if I know it's a cover. Doesn't necessarily mean I will love it, but it excites me to listen to them, at least. 

On the other hand, I know people that hate song covers and I don't blame them.

This morning I listened to a good one,  Guiltiness by  Chronixx a cover from Bob Marley & The Wailers Guiltiness. 

On top of my mind, I have a few others;

Lovesong by Adele, a cover from The Cure's Love Song, I think is a cover well done.

Disturbed's cover of  The Sound of Silence from  Simon & Garfunkel, is another favorite.

Bernard Fowler, Chuck D's version of  Can't You Hear Me Knocking from The Rolling Stones.

Tems's cover of Bob Marley & The Wailers No Woman No Cry, it's beautiful!

And what about Lorde's cover of  Everybody Wants To Rule the World of  Tears for Fears?

Then there are some albums where there are all cover songs by the same artists.

Weezer's Teal Album, love it!

My Echo, My Shadow, My Covers & Me by  AWOLNATION, is my current favorite.

What are some of your favorites, or the ones you don't like?

Let me know in the comments below, like, subscribe and click that bell. 😋

Today I had the privilege (or misfortune 😜) to present in front of the managers. It was a very random request. They asked some of us to do a short presentation about what is that we do within the company and whatnot. It was very informal, I talked and presented from my sit (phew!). That was this morning. It is almost time to go home and I still find myself opening the presentation, finding little things here and there, and editing...

Some wrong dates, differences, or inconsistencies in the usage of fonts, spaces, etc.

Thank the gods that I had sent it to two people for review and that it was informal.

It is Friday! Yay!

It es 8:50 am MST about 72℉ with a nice cool breeze going on. My office's in a trailer so we have opened the doors to let the semi-cool air refresh it. We've got pastries and coffee. So far the day looks to be a chill one.  Litsdening to DJ Nelson's new album,  De Camino A Palomino, Vol. 1. In fact, probably listening to this album it's what got me in a good positive mood. 

I don't know what's in store for the rest of the day, so I am making a note that at least so far, life seems to be good.

Source: Anti-Blog Feelings - Hypertext Monster

I knew I had a similar feeling, I just did have a word for it, and now I do. 

Thank you,  Cheri!

A vulnerability hangover is what happens when you regret sharing too much of yourself online. 

Yup, in fact, it happened yesterday.

I suppose that’s the essence of my issue. I don’t want strangers reading my diary. Yet despite my best intentions, my blogging becomes diary-adjacent.

I can connect to this sentiment on a spiritual level, as they say. I treat my blog as an online journal and post things that normally I wouldn't necessarily mind other people reading. That being said, there have been many times when I would compose something and sit on it for hours before I decide to hit publish. and very few others, in which I just delete the whole thing.

I have said it (written) many times before, 99% of the time I am an impulsive writer, in fact, I think I am impulsive in a lot of things. Something gets in my mind and I just need to purge it out, type it away and publish it right after. And then I ask myself, was that really necessary to put out there? Was it too much information? What have I done?

I know I can always come back and delete the post, and in fact, I have before but it's rare. Usually, when something has been published and discussed upon, there's no turning back and there is no deleting it at that point.

I don't know if this is a thing for a lot of people, but I have caught myself on this a few times over. Many times, like many of us, I am doom-scrolling the Twitterverse. And every once in a while (or almost every time these days) I will come across something that will enrage me, something that just makes me mad and I pull up my phone or my browser and write something about whatever is that I found. 

I am almost positive we all have been there. It's this impulse to put out there our thoughts in whichever matter or thing without even considering if it's worth our sanity or peace of mind. Or even just replying to someone in a sort of snarky or negative way, just because whatever that said,  triggered us somehow.

That did happen, ish, to me today. I saw an article and I got enraged, I quoted the article with a simple comment and pushed it to my Micro.blog for it to spread not only to my blog but my social media.  

This happened after I read this tweet by Jack and even retweeted it.

  I don't care what you're mad at. I want to hear what you're happy about  

I was like, "what just did, what you just posted, and the way you reacted, goes against the same tweet you just agreed on".  I immediately realized what I had done and deleted it from my posts.

This is not the reason I blog for. I don't blog to let the world what I am mad about or what I disagree about, my blog is supposed to be a happy space, my happy space. To talk about the things that make me happy, to tell stories, and promote what brings me joy.

I guess many times over, I have lost sight of that and it has become easier these days. 

It's being hard.

This post, is a reminder, a reminder of why I blog, why I share what I share. I don't want to write about what I hate, what I dislike, or hot-takes and opinions. I just want to tell stories, journal, and share the things I like.

This was a longass month! Well, more like 10 days. First, my trip to Naples, Florida for grow-out evaluations then immediately after, headed to Skokie, Illinois for the AOSA/SCST Annual meeting. Sunday, I took my so dreaded exam, which, unfortunately, and not to my surprise, did not pass.

Numerous interesting talks and information about the seed industry, new connections, and “friends”. Overall, a good experience. But right by last Tuesday, I was so ready to go home. It had already been a long time away, and it gets old and exhausting pretty quickly.

Today is the last day of conferences, most people are either flying or driving back home. Some of us don’t fly out until tomorrow.

Again, it has been a good experience, next year’s conference is in Canada 🍁. As an associate member of the Society of Commercial Seed Technologists, it is important for me in my career development, to partake in these events. That being said, I will not, if at all possible, combine two trips into one.

And just like that, it’s done. I am finally done with it. No more exam’s related stress, well, now I’ll be anxiously waiting for the results but that’s the least of my worries — now.

Four different tests, four different subjects. Molecular, Genetic Purity, herbicide assays, and AP/LLP testing. I feel like two out of the four I did pretty well, the other two, well I had some troubles.

Although, I was surprised at how much I knew and was able to complete by just real work experience. Studying also helped a lot, obviously. About three hours total, for all four. I should find out about the results for user 22002 sometime this week. My hopes of passing are slim but there’s a chance.

Worst case scenario, I know what to concentrate on or tackle more in my next round.

Now if you’d excuse me, I need a beer and lunch.

Well, this is it, I’m in Skokie, Illinois. Tomorrow’s the day, the day I have been dreading, the RGT exam.

I am not going to lie, I don’t want to do it, I don’t think I am prepared enough. I feel in my heart that I’m going to fail. There’s a little bit of pressure about me passing this exam on the first try. And because of that expectation, I fear that if I do fail, I’m going to disappoint a lot of people, not just me.

I’m also a little spent, I just want to go home.

Funny story

This morning, I woke up, showered, and got dressed, as you do, ready to go out and about in the field. When something strange happened. I got to my rental car, turn it on, and then the sound…

My brand new Mitsubishi Outlander Sport rental sounded like a mustang!!! Super-loud exhaust! A loud broken one. I’ve heard this before, and it clicked in my mind but I didn’t want to accept what was happening. I knew something was “broken” or, missing.

Immediately I called the car rental company and they patched me to this nice lady on the phone. After explaining what had happened she says.

“Sir, you have been a victim of a stolen catalytic converter”

I was baffled, that did confirm what I thought it was but not that it was actually stolen. Stolen, overnight, right at the hotel’s parking lot. Apparently, this is a thing, people do steal, these parts, they, apparently, get a good deal of money for them, precious metals.

So, they exchanged my vehicle but not before I had to drive it all the way to my closest car rental location. It was like driving an old broken Cadillac all over town. So much fun.

I’ve got two more nights down here in Naples fkn Florida, and there’s a tropical storm watch!

Good times, good times.

It is somewhat baffling to me that about two weeks ago, I was in a very nice chill not-so humid place, with lots and lots of pine trees and Deer crossings signs. Now, I find myself in a hot, hot place, extremely humid, and lots of diverse vegetation but mostly palm trees. And rather than Deer crossing signs, Panther’s crossing signs. And you could add alligators and who knows what. No alligators crossing signs, though.

It seems to me like Florida is USA’s mini Australia.