What goes through my mind at 11:00 PM at night?
I talk a lot in my head (I think I am talking), and I sort of guess what the next day will be like. I create conversations, and what I might be saying at tomorrow’s meeting (which got postponed until tomorrow, so I am sure we'll get back to it tonight). I imagine and plan the rest of my day, or rather, I think I am just mentally preparing for it.
I think about every issue, and problem, I have. I tell myself an idiot for worrying too much and that I suck. Impostor syndrome creeps in and doubts every decision made. What my workout will be for tomorrow? Gotta lose weight, I am still fat. I try to remind myself that there’s nothing I can do right this second about any of it and that I should focus on sleeping and getting some rest.
But no, I can’t.
I grab my phone, I doom scroll Instagram, Twitter is dead, nothing to see there this late at night, but I open Tweetbot and scroll anyways. I open any app that might show me something I hadn’t previously seen or read, or something I may miss. There’s nothing in my RSS. A podcast? Nah! Not interested. A book? Too tired to pay attention and remember any of it the next day. What about read it later? Nah!
Ugh!
Shall I change my Micro.blog theme? Hm...
Nah, not on the macintosh phone...
Plays music...
Midnight comes around...
On the bright side, I got 4 hours of sleep rather than 3 like the night before. I call that progress.
