It is Friday! Yay!

It es 8:50 am MST about 72℉ with a nice cool breeze going on. My office's in a trailer so we have opened the doors to let the semi-cool air refresh it. We've got pastries and coffee. So far the day looks to be a chill one.  Litsdening to DJ Nelson's new album,  De Camino A Palomino, Vol. 1. In fact, probably listening to this album it's what got me in a good positive mood. 

I don't know what's in store for the rest of the day, so I am making a note that at least so far, life seems to be good.

I was in a forest when the fire came

Now I know I will never be the same

I’m trying to find time

To make a deal with a devil

But the devil don’t care about me

I’ve been going out of mind

Out of my mind

I’ve been going out of my mind

Runaway train

Crawl under my skin

You know, the wrong kind of medicine

Will make a man sick

And I hope I find my way

backup from the bottom of the well

from the bottom of the well

no rest, no sleep, no gods, no dreams

…

Out of My Mind (Resident Evil) by Reuben And The Dark 

Source: Anti-Blog Feelings - Hypertext Monster

I knew I had a similar feeling, I just did have a word for it, and now I do. 

Thank you,  Cheri!

A vulnerability hangover is what happens when you regret sharing too much of yourself online. 

Yup, in fact, it happened yesterday.

I suppose that’s the essence of my issue. I don’t want strangers reading my diary. Yet despite my best intentions, my blogging becomes diary-adjacent.

I can connect to this sentiment on a spiritual level, as they say. I treat my blog as an online journal and post things that normally I wouldn't necessarily mind other people reading. That being said, there have been many times when I would compose something and sit on it for hours before I decide to hit publish. and very few others, in which I just delete the whole thing.

I have said it (written) many times before, 99% of the time I am an impulsive writer, in fact, I think I am impulsive in a lot of things. Something gets in my mind and I just need to purge it out, type it away and publish it right after. And then I ask myself, was that really necessary to put out there? Was it too much information? What have I done?

I know I can always come back and delete the post, and in fact, I have before but it's rare. Usually, when something has been published and discussed upon, there's no turning back and there is no deleting it at that point.

This is the word, label, term that has been running through my head since this morning. Things haven’t been great, I mean, I thought they were, or so I was telling myself. I have struggled or been battling with my mental and emotional health for about 4 years now, well medicated, struggling, probably more. But for the past few months, or who knows if even more, things have gotten a little off, or out of wack.

But how could things be bad, I have been taking medication and bleh, bleh-bleh?

Clearly, something ain’t working!

Either way, all aspects of my life, are being affected by whatever shenanigans are currently happening in my head. Of course, there are a thousand things I could blame them on, all you have to do is open your favorite social media or a news app to see everything is fucked-up. We have more than enough reasons to be sad and angry, and depressed. My mind it’s scattered, I can’t focus, I can’t sleep, and hard to find joy in things I used to do for fun, and I drink far too much these days.

Yesterday, I had a talk with the dude, also known as “a professional”, and he called it. I am still, damaged. Well, he said depressed. But the moment he called it, the moment he alluded to it, everything started to make sense. It became clearer that, yes, I am unhappy most of the time, and it is affecting every aspect of my life. It really hit me hard, more than I thought it would. Now, I am back where I was 4 years ago, and I don’t like it, feeling like I am broken, asking myself why or how did I let it get to this point.

Am I the problem?

Am I weak?

Defeated?

I have gone through all of this once already, and it sucks. I also know that with help, which I am getting, it will — or should — get better. Not only that, but I just wished I had seen the signs sooner, as this can affect (and is affecting) others around me, and not just me.

  Instagram’s transformation into QVC is now complete and absolute. Instagram is dead — or at least the Instagram I knew and loved is dead. It is no longer part of my photographic journey.   

Instagram is dead - Om Malik  

I came to this realization ever since I closed my previous Instagram account which should be a little over a year now. My current account (probably my 5th account by now), it's more like a place where I post stories for shits and giggles, watch Steve Harvey's Family Feud Reels, find kettlebell workouts, and keep in touch with friends and family. And that is what Instagram is for me these days. I may post a few pictures here and there, but again, they are for my mom, dad, and friends.

That being said, I still wrestle with my feelings regarding Instagram. At least once every other week, I close it, just to re-open it the next morning. I dislike how much time I waste on this app most of the time, and I dislike what the app has become.

When it comes to my photography, I host all my pictures in two places, my blog, and Glass.

I have got a new toy! Well, it is more like we got new toys.

Annie wanted to upgrade her iPhone 12 Mini to the 13 Mini, so while doing the upgrade, I set myself up for a Purple iPad Air 256 GB, cellular. And she got a green 128 GB iPhone 13 mini.

Why did I get an iPad Air?

I currently own a 2018 11” iPad Pro, nothing wrong with it, in fact, it will still be rocking around the house, most likely by the girls. My only complaint about it was the storage, I think it is 64 GB. I would find myself constantly deleting things or just restoring the iPad completely whenever I ran out of storage, mostly pictures.

The iPad, is my main “computing” device. A lot of my writing is done on the iPad, and 90 percent of my photo managing and editing is also done on the iPad. This and storage are the main reasons I wanted to get a new device. I really did not care for another Pro device, I just wanted an iPad with lots of storage.

So far, I am liking the Air, its design is very similar to the 11” iPad Pro, so I can’t really tell any noticeable differences. I am sure there are numerous technical differences between the two, but I really don’t care.

Touch ID, it’s both cool and weird at the same time, but it doesn’t bother me either. The old Smart-keyboard from the iPad Pro works on the Air, so I am set. I believe the Apple Pencil works as well, but I rarely ever use it, so it doesn’t matter to me much.

Recently I watched a Youtube video by Van Neistat called My To-Do List Philosophy. 

And my favorite quote;

To-do lists are for pussies  

That made me both chuckle and think.

To-do lists and To-do apps, give me anxiety, I have tried different apps and different systems over the years only to be dropped and forgotten about. That being said, I am the kind of individual that would greatly benefit from having a robust system. 

Why?

I am forgetful. I procrastinate. I am, sometimes lazy and unorganized. Having a system, in theory, should keep me sane, and help me keep my job in the process.

Here is where I'm at right now. I have been trying to build up a system based on functionality rather than what is the hot app of the moment. I believe this has always been my biggest mistake, trying to fit my necessities in a system or app simply because a YouTuber or Podcaster said it was the best (to them, in their defense). So I have been trying to use what causes less friction and anxiety.

For work, I have been using TickTick and in fact, 99% of its use is using the quick entry window by clicking Ctrl + Shift + A. I enter the task, assign time and date (many times not even a time), and done. I don't even open the app, whatever I need to get done will appear on a floating widget on my desktop. Although I have it installed on my phone, it is not even on my main screen, it's in a folder somewhere in case I may need to reference something. I have tried to use it for personal stuff but there's when things get a little angsty.

For Personal stuff, I have been trying to rely more on Reminders, simply because I can talk to my watch or Machintosh cellular device or even my HomePod (when it works) and add things that way. I still dabble with Things 3, it's nice looking but I find it a little cumbersome at times trying to add things or remember how to do things properly, but that's more on me I guess.

For now, this is my system, it is not perfect or super-organized but somewhat works. The most hectic part of my life is work and that's where I need a system the most, and for now,  TickTick is doing the thing.

That'd be all.

Cheers!

Recently, I have gotten an itch for buying indie games, that I already own digitally on the Nintendo Switch, physically. And these are the games that I really liked and enjoyed. Moreover, I kind of don’t trust Nintendo very much when it comes to safeguarding my purchase library, I don’t know, maybe I’m just paranoid.

I have purchased 4 games so far, one still on its way, and I’m sure there will be more to come. The thing I was not expecting, though, was the extras. Not only I got the physical copies of the games dearest to me, but they came with goodies that made the purchase even more valuable, to me.

First, I got Blasphemous

And this one came with stickers and a poster!

As well, with a code for the DLC, which I already owned anyway.

Then I got Death’s Gambit: Afterlife.

This one also came with a poster and stickers!

How cool is that, right?

Today, I received Huntdown.

If you haven’t played this game, do yourself a favor and play it. It is so much fun, the graphics, the music, it is so 80s.

This did not come with stickers, but pins or buttons.

On its way, I got ENDER LILIES: Quietus of the Knights. This one a did blogged about a while ago, and I loved it so much I had to order the physical copy as well.

I have a few in mind I want to get, hopefully these three didn’t spoil me much that now I’ll be expecting cool stuff every time.

I am pretty sure, I am incredibly late to this party but better late than never (as they say). Yesterday, for the first time since its release back in 2014, 8 years later, I watched,

The Lego Movie (2014)

An ordinary LEGO construction worker, thought to be the prophesied as "special", is recruited to join a quest to stop an evil tyrant from gluing the LEGO universe into eternal stasis.

We often have dinner just sitting in the living room and 9 out 10 times, the girls (mL) would pick a movie. Last night I picked. I have had this movie in my catalog for years, or whenever the Movies Everywhere service came about and I got this and Doom (2005) for free. I have watched Doom countless times but I have been neglecting the Lego movie all these years. 

How was it? Well, I did enjoy it very much! I thought it was going to be the dumbest movie I'd ever watched, and yes it is still "dumb", but fun-dumb. I believe the girls liked it too, especially Marley, not sure about Luna.

I hear there is a second one, and I may check it out, but for now, I want to watch The Lego Batman Movie (2017) which I haven't watched either.

That'd be all.