An Old Note


Whilst I was in Biochemistry, I always felt good about what I was doing. I felt that I was good at my job, that I knew what I was doing, and felt very confident about it. Now I have moved to a different position within the company and pretty much to a different discipline. Even though that my new department (or team) isn't defined by a specific discipline, I do more molecular science than I do biochemistry. Molecular science it's definitely not my area of expertise at all. I do enjoy a new challenge, I very much welcome it, but the more I try to get good at it the more things go wrong and the less I seem to understand it. A special project was "assigned" to me and even though I should have probably said no, I did say yes. Probably because I was either overconfident or just to prove that I was worthy of the task — to prove myself. My first experiment didn't go well but we identified the flaws. The second experiment and a third went perfectly. Now, for the past two days, I have been working on the same experiment and getting unexpected results on both occasions. And can not, for the life of me, figure out what I did wrong. Like I've said before this is not my area of expertise and there's only so much I can think (or try to think) of what could have possibly gone wrong. And I'm feeling frustrated and very discouraged. I am afraid of failure and disappointment to my teammates and my new boss. Haven't felt this way in a long long time and am not sure how to handle it.

January 10th, 2017

36°F Cloudy

Boise, Idaho, United States
Gabz @Gabz