There have been weeks since I haven’t been sleeping well or not at all. It has been to the point that I am even trying guided sleeping meditation. Too much in my mind, far too much. Some of them random things that make no sense whatsoever, others, are legitimate concerns and worries. I try to convince myself that there is nothing I can do at that moment. That all I need is rest to take care of the things that worry me.
I think a lot about my health, and the problems I am having with my weight and being active, among many other things. I worry a lot about work too. Too many things happening. I think about the girls, and more specific, around Marley’s school and education. I worry at my lack of discipline, the discipline I once had, and now it seems lost. There are always excuses, one of them, being the lack of sleep and good rest, again, among others.
It feels like when there is a mess on the kitchen table, and you know it needs to be cleaned, organized and maintained, but you don’t know where to start. There’s so much piled up that just the though of starting, it’s daunting, and you walk away. This is how I feel about many things in my life right now. I don’t know where to begin. I am also impatient, I want everything fixed now and all at the same time. I fail to understand things take time and that is one step at a time.
It’s overwhelming…
It is depressing too…
